Sunday, October 21, 2012

Sew Sweet

What do happy couples do?

I'm not ever fully sure, but I think I saw yet another glimpse of it last week, and in my basement no less. (multicolor thread image from thecraftysister.files)

While I typically don't like to make the happy couples blog a feature about me and my pal (the two middle-aged, midwesterners going on 21 years of a mundane but happy marriage), I can't stop thinking about this little moment last week, one which reveals what I think is a tiny yet grand part of the happy couple equation, at least for us.

While I was doing something I LOVE to do -- sew and design vintage-inspired clothing -- while preparing for a big event being held at our university (for some reason they invited me to be the emcee as we announced a $515 million capital campaign success - oh, wow!), my sweet spouse was spied out of the corner of my eye observing my late-night and early-morning stitching, cutting, ripping of seams, steaming, pressing, re-stitching and fitting.

"Watching you sew makes me happy" he said.

Wow. I didn't know that. Or, actually, I think I did. Did I?

I guess I did, as I thought about it, because what typically makes me happy is what makes him happy. And vise versa (him: jiggin' for walleye & hangin' with his dad and mine).  But I guess I sort of forgot. Yet I didn't and I do always know as much deep down. But even so, it was his verbal acknowledgement-of-admiration that reminded me, as well as built and warmed me up, last week ... and is still well into this one.

What if we all had such a command of how to "amplify the other," the beautiful words of Dr. Tom Faase, our late friend and mentor featured in a blog post once upon a time here at WHCD?

Magic, I say. In my case, sew very magical: that my spouse adores my favorite hobby and seeing me practicing it! [Photo of the finished product, under the bright stage lights, here]:

photo by University of St. Thomas photographers

Sew (so!), here's the question for you: Might you shift your thinking (and your language) toward appreciating and acknowledging something your sweet partner or even friend does, loves or appreciates ... just because it is indeed what she/he does, loves or appreciates? And you must do so for no other reason than it is what it is, and nothing more or less. That kind of simplicity, indeed, is what's magical about being in a relationship.

1 comment:

cj renzi said...

A beautifully written post. And "amplifying the other" is absolute poetry. Sometimes when I am practicing (I am a classical guitarist) I hear my wife's sweet little voice from the kitchen, where she types and plans, tell me how good it sounds. I always assume she is not listening since she has her own work to do, but sometime she is and I love those times.